Being in the now…

Some days, being present feels as elusive as a butterfly.

Sometimes, it feels like all I do, in my sitting practice as well as real life, is start over again and again and again. I get distracted and then catch myself somewhere else completely and like a groggy traveler waking up in unknown surroundings, I don’t remember how I got there. and then I begin again. body, breath, now. red light, baby, sounds.

And then yesterday, reading Philip Moffit’s wonderful book called ‘Dancing with Life’, I was heartened. He talks about the power of that intention to start over and that it is okay if that is all we ever do.

The freedom in this moment when we realize we are a thousand miles away – is to not judge. The less we judge, the easier it is to come back to the present moment. I loved Larry Rosenberg’s instruction on this: just like a mirror. we simply see and we begin again. That is the practice. sometimes, we are more focused and present. sometimes, we are more distracted and scattered. Mindfulness is noticing and accepting things as they are – be it concentration or diffuseness. That is the practice!

Like the moon reflected in the clear water on a cool night, our spirit is reflected in everything we do and see and hear and think. There is nothing that doesn’t have to be there – everything is just as it is. It is just hard for us to believe that the miracle we so yearn for with our hearts is already happening in front of us! So we close our eyes. And then the moments when we open them – and see that sparkle of rain on the window shining like a thousand diamonds. or the mist in the mountains trembling like a coy bride, holding a secret. When we finally hear, really hear the song of the bird that has been singing since forever. In those moments, we wake up. and that makes up for everything else.

With Love, S.

Unconditional Peace…

Sometimes I have this distinct sense of experiencing ‘conditional happiness’. A sense of joy that I know is dependent on the conditions being a certain way. Last week, this was something along these lines: baby is doing good, Dad is doing good, I’m feeling well, day is beautiful, etc etc. We all have days like this, when things are going well. The boat is sailing smoothly. We are grateful, of course. But mostly, we start taking things for granted.

And then the boat starts rocking…

Suffering, the old trusted friend, comes along. Grasping, wanting, aversion, attachment. They all come at more or less the same time, don’t they? And I see my mind and heart struggle to recover balance. This struggle is always always hard.

And I’ve found that it is on these days that I can no longer take peace for granted. It is on these days that I really practice. I do what is necessary to feel peaceful again. I learn to be present – what other choice is there? And invariably, at the end of these days, my heart is softer and more connected. And I learn once again – letting go is possible. peace is possible.

It makes me realize that when conditions are great, the accompanying happiness is good. But it is when conditions are difficult, that truly presents the opportunity for unconditional peace.

May our hearts become as large as the bottomless ocean, on this journey,
With Love, S.

Paying attention to Joy…

I noticed recently that we don’t like talking about joy or happiness very much. We love talking about our problems.We also love hearing about others suffering. I was in the bookstore the other day and I was struck by the fact that most books in the ‘have you read’ and bestsellers section had to do with suffering of some kind. Suffering is important and it has the ability to open our hearts to compassion. And yet…

What about Joy ? We don’t often talk about what makes us happy or joyful, and when we were happy. Its like we assume that happiness and joy is simply a natural state of mind that we can take for granted. Nothing special. And yet, it is this state of mind that most of us long for. We pursue what we think is happiness. We long for joy. But we don’t pay very much attention to it.

If we didn’t pay attention to when we are joyful or happy, and what brings us that joy, how will we know when it happens ? Paying attention to joy sustains us, it balances us. It reminds us that there are good times as well as bad. And it nourishes us.

A few days ago, I read a beautiful paragraph by one of my teachers Doreen Schweizer. Titled “Cultivate Happiness and Awaken to Joy,” she wrote, “Moving toward happiness and contentment does not mean that we ignore the suffering around us. It means that, to the extent we can, we come face to face with it and respond wisely and kindly. Trust small steps: Look for joy in yourself and in those you share the world with. Notice dog joy, baby joy, student joy, teacher joy, old-person joy…… Notice how you feel right now. Is there joy?”

I loved these words, and the past few days, I have been holding it in my thoughts. As I walked into a surprisingly sunny spring like day in winter, I noticed my joy at sunshine. (I called it puppy joy, I felt like one! ) Doing yoga after a long time yesterday, I noticed how happy I felt in class. Small things like eating a mango, an unexpected phone call. My own generosity and good acts. It is a very rewarding practice. It’s also neat noticing other people’s joy. It makes your heart feel warm and naturally wish them well. People’s joyful moments are touching. How simple they are.

One of the magnets I came across sums it up: “Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder…”– Thoreau

May we pay attention when that joy comes and sits softly on our shoulders…

with Joy, S.