There is the meditation space where we can sit in silence and realize the lessons of life. And there is the real world where we have to learn to apply the lessons-to be mindful in the face of chaos and unpredictability-for which the meditation offers a practice ground.Something that happened this week is a reminder of this: and it humbles me to think of how much more there is in life- just when we think we have got it, there is more.
Okay so here it is. We had a 3-hr meeting yesterday at work. I’m a researcher and it was one of those research meetings where we had a bunch of stuff to discuss along with a visiting researcher. Now, as I entered the room and encountered the first guy (who started immediatly with what *he* had found!), and then the next who followed the same track (with what *he* had found..), I had a sinking feeling. I don’t know if you have had this experience, but if you are in a room with a bunch of guys (esp. scientists), they love to discuss ideas but with no concept of time or agenda. And thats not something I’m very good with. I don’t know if it had anything to do with me being the only woman in the room..So, know what I did? I took the lead and went to the blackboard and wrote down the main points: the agenda for the meeting that we had to cover. We already knew what the main stuff were-I mainly took the initiative of reminding everyone. And from then on, the meeting progressed smoothly-you can’t spend forever on one item-as the other items are right there fstaring you in the face! I wrote whatever initiatives we discussed, on the board and got everyone on it.
It was great! I was actively engaged in the meeting, and whats more-it was a very productive one, and I came out feeling relaxed and confident after 3 hrs in the room! Instead of a splitting headache that I normally have!
So that made me very happy yesterday. And then, as Pema Choudren says, the rug is pulled out from underneath you! So, today there was another meeting, this time with actual action on some software modifications with a bunch of guys in the room, and the programs on the projector on the big screen. Now one person is doing the main stuff, and the rest are trying to contribute or just sit watching the action..Again, not my forte. And I found myself getting reactive to the energy!! Instead of keeping my calm, this time I got caught in the energy and ended up making a sarcatic remark to one of them which I later bitterly regretted! It was not anything major, but it was to me. It was humbling. I may have learnt my lesson the previous day, but every day, every moment is different! and we still have to life mindfully, with kindness to ourselves and to others the moment after this one, the next one! So, I’m being kind to myself, sending some blessings to the others (in the room) and practicing impermanance. This too shall pass..