Shuba’s Weblog

Journeys of the soul…

the art of being

on March 29, 2008

I’m sitting here on a beautiful saturday in my meditation room, with the trees swaying gently in the breeze-and I’m wondering how to put into words the deep sense of peace that arises when we embrace our failings.. 

In these past few weeks, I have been keenly aware of my emotions-of the gamut of feelings that my heart has run through: of feeling needy and insecure at times, inadequate at certain times, fear of whether I can live up to new responsibilities at work, needing approval from loved ones that I’m doing a good job…and more than anything, anger towards myself for feeling all of these *troublesome* emotions-and trying to fight them and tired of fighting…

and yesterday evening, as I sat in silence following my breath, for the first time in the past two weeks, I sat with all these conflicting emotions. I stayed with them without running away. I just stayed for what seemed endless time…and I had this powerful realization that all of these emotions of pain, of neediness, of fear, these are what made me human, made me genuine.

as I sat with these feelings, I felt my heart open in compassion. I felt strangely alive and awake for being present in my experiences. and tenderness towards myself for my suffering. I was not perfect and thats what made me wonderfully human. I was genuine, I was real. and slowly all of these emotions fell away leaving a wide spaciousness in my heart. These emotions did not define me anymore. They were simply rich paintings on a blank canvas-a canvas that was expansive and without limits.

And from this space arose a tremendous feeling of giving-a giving that is not conditional on us being perfect beings, instead a giving that arises because we are imperfect. and we recognize that in others as well-as if we are no longer separate beings but waves of the same ocean. and when we no longer judge or berate ourselves, when we embrace our dark sides, then compassion for others arises so much more naturally. everything becomes okay. nothing is taboo or unapproachable. and we can just be. and we start to realize how much we have to give others, just by being. 

this right now is perfect in every way. There is nothing else we have to be, and nowhere else we have to go. This is where peace is-this unconditional loving acceptance of who we really are.

may we all have the strength to see how amazing we are. in every way.

with love, S.

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