Shuba’s Weblog

Journeys of the soul…

embodying the spirit…

on June 4, 2009

sometimes I can’t help wondering, if sadness is given to us so that we can soften. because anytime I have felt sad and become aware of it, my heart seems to be softer, more gentle and I feel more compassionate, towards myself and others. there is this universal bond that, no matter how happy we or everyone around us can be, there is a part of our soul, our psyche that is touched by sadness. and sadness is what leads us to peace. peace with what is.

My husband is travelling on a long trip across Asia. and for a independent self-reliant woman like me, being alone should not be a problem. and it isn’t, in some ways. in the tangible ways. and yet, there is a sadness that is intangible, like my body yearning for the physical presence for the man I love. and no matter what, whether we talk to each other on the phone, or see each other in video chat, it is that embodiment that my soul yearns for.

body. we sometimes take the body lightly. we think the body is a vehicle to hold the soul. and yet, without this body where would the soul be! this physical presence is how we embody our spirit. and when I miss seeing my love’ eyes, his eyelashes, his nose, his lips, his hair , its not that I’m attached to his physical appearance. more than that, it is his physical presence that provides a tangible connection to his soul that I miss.

our bodies are how we connect with each other’s souls. and being present in this body is the best thing we can do for ourselves. In my last retreat, my teacher Doreen Schweiger said, if you only take two things from this retreat, let it be these: don’t ever let your breath desert your body. and appreciate the moments when you are at ease so that it can sustain your practice.

as I feel the sadness that my body feels, I can’t help but remind myself to come back to my physical being. allow it to be a doorway into my soul. and connect with the pain and longing inside me. being vulnerable is a gift sometimes. it reminds us of our wounds. of why we are in relationships. of how tremendous our love is for each other. we notice the beauty of our hearts.

with love, S.

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