Shuba’s Weblog

Journeys of the soul…

grateful…

on November 30, 2009

Thanksgiving weekend. without planning to, I found myself face to face with gratitude.

We spent the thanksgiving holiday in Boston, a city vacation. not my favorite kind, but a last minute deal and not wanting to face the vagaries of travel, this was a perfect getaway, a bus ride away. mostly it rained, and we walked. Thinking that I could lose all the calories from the desserts by walking everywhere, I told my hubby that Boston was a ‘walking city’. and he acquiesced. so we walked everywhere in the rain! not the best thing to do, an adventure nonetheless. we mused on indian food and its myriad plays with the digestive system 🙂 we toured the John F. Kennedy Presidential museum, inspired by his speeches and the time. We went shopping on Newbury street and ate Thai food. We laughed at a crazy hindi movie called dhe dhana dhan and stopped ourselves from wondering why we were watching the movie in the first place. we ate kulfi made by my sister. a wonderful massage at the spa nearby was just what I needed.

In all the fun, gratitude didn’t play a major part. I knew we were having a good time, and I was grateful, don’t get me wrong. but it was a forced kind of gratitude. the sort you tell yourself you feel, but mostly you take for granted. On the final day, we were shopping for a winter coat for me. and we found a beautiful royal blue one. really gorgeous. and bought it. after paying a hefty amount, and back outside, I wondered how I could spend this insane amount of money on a coat when so many had none. so many people had no food, and here I was nonchalantly buying a coat. did I really need it ? more than that, I found myself asking, did I deserve it ? what gave me the right to own this and not those thousands out there who are poor ? It didn’t feel good. I was walking along musing when suddenly it hit me. gratitude. I looked at my shoes, waterproof that they were. coat in my hand. scarf on my neck. warm. and I said a silent thank you. thank you. at this moment, I’m grateful. to be warm and dry. and know I have my next meal. thank you.

with gratitude, S.

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