Shuba’s Weblog

Journeys of the soul…

The mind’s incorrigible ways…

on July 16, 2010

It has been so interesting during my pregnancy to witness my thoughts about my growing body. For the longest time, I wished people would notice my belly, but with the kind of frame I had and the kind of flowy (comfy) clothes I wore, it didn’t seem very perceptible to the outside world. Some days I worried if I was gaining enough weight. Secretly I knew, everything was okay and baby and I were healthy and that is what mattered. But the mind has a will of its own…

And now in my seventh month, finally I’m starting to ‘show’ obviously. People greet me and ask me about my due date and about the heat and how I feel. I love it! And then somewhere is the lingering thought – am I gaining too much weight ?

Can’t help laughing when I think of it. In a nutshell, that is the nature of the mind. Jumping this way and that. Never satisfied and constantly comparing the status quo with the past or the future. Never completely surrendering to the present moment because we still cling on to the ideas that we didn’t even know existed. Our constant worry, dissatisfaction and clinging is what stands in the way – of peace and happiness.

And finally a moment of epiphany yesterday in my belly-dancing class which has a large mirror in front. As I was dancing, I took a moment to really notice, to really see how I looked. And surprising tears sprang to my eyes – how long I had waited for this moment! To show my body proudly, to announce to the world that I was carrying a child within. A moment of peace. Things are as they are. and there is beauty in this.

An interesting exercise to practice in the next few days – to be a silent witness to the ways of the mind without reacting or taking it personally. Can we simply notice the constant ‘burning’ of our mind? And would compassion then arise to comfort our hearts and remind us to be gentle? Join me.

With metta, S.

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2 responses to “The mind’s incorrigible ways…

  1. suman78 says:

    Hi Subha,

    Congratulations on the pregnancy. I am on my 27th week, so can relate to your state of mind. I have been showing since my 13th week, but have been wearing maternity clothes only for the past few weeks and love the way the clothes highlight the bump 🙂

    I agree with your last para and that’s what I am trying to do as well… be a passive observer of the mind. A friend recommended, please try – The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.

    Suman
    (from live journal)

  2. Shuba says:

    Congratulations you too Suman! How wonderful that Tuls will now have another little one join the home!

    I have read Eckhart Tolle, and he writes wonderfully well – a voice to cherish in the world of awareness and mindfulness.

    Not taking our thoughts personally is such a revealing journey – and such a relief too! Words I love said by another beloved voice, Sharon Salzberg: when she went to her teacher tormented by her thoughts- he asked her, ‘why, did you invite them?’ Knowing we don’t invite our thoughts, but we have a choice on how to respond…I thought that was profound.

    With Love, S.

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