The most interesting and scary thing about motherhood is how suddenly the inner radar becomes aligned with the sounds, thoughts and well-being of a little one. Day before birth – no such radar. day after birth – a new radar! as simple as that.
Having friends visit, I found it amazing that I could hardly focus on what they were saying. My mind was tuned in to listen to a different voice – that of my baby girl. Did she need a diaper change? was she okay, warm, cold? was she ready to nurse? It was a bit disconcerting to feel this happening. where was my old self who could focus ?
And then I realized – of course it would be so. Nature has set it up to be so. Otherwise how would the babies of the world survive. I didn’t have a chance! All I can do was trust that the process will work itself out. and take baby steps in trusting that she will let me know what she needs, and I don’t have to be on high alert all the time.
Four weeks into my motherhood.. 🙂 Yesterday I caught myself in the bathroom saying ‘shhhhh’ when I heard Anjali crying in the other room. She couldn’t even hear me. It was just such an automatic reaction on my part, it made me laugh!
Sending metta to all mothers out there,
with Love, S.
Shuba's Weblog 