Shuba’s Weblog

Journeys of the soul…

The road to recovery…

on December 16, 2011

Dear Friends,

Thanks for all the lovely notes, comments, wishes for Anjali’s recovery. This morning there was a dramatic reduction in her swelling, so she is definitely responding to the medicine. It will take a few days for all of the swelling to go down, and for up to a couple of weeks or more for the rashes to disappear. But meanwhile, she is walking again and excited and very much herself. She says ‘No way’ to any food or drink offered to her so I have to be extremely patient, and resourceful and creative in getting her to eat and drink. She is continuing to give her Teddy kisses, and this morning, we snuggled in bed for a bit, and got a good solid extra hour of sleep.

I can’t help thinking that babies definitely make life much more happening! 😉 I haven’t had this much drama in my life as much as in the past year. I haven’t learnt as much either. My birthday was great, with a dear friend stopping by for dinner with yummy food. What I like most about being 32 is that, I have more courage and strength than I ever thought I did. One of the reasons we delayed having a child is that I couldn’t imagine how I would possibly be able to handle my kid being sick. And now I’m doing it, mostly because we have no choice.

In the past few days, I have had thoughts of loneliness, connection, isolation, company, uplifting joy at seeing Anjali get better as well as agony at seeing her rashes and how much in discomfort she is at times. I try my best to be with them, but sometimes it is really hard. The moments that have been most memorable though are, simply holding her in my arms, for a long while, listening to music. Being the active toddler that she is, we haven’t done this since we stopped nursing months ago. It feels nice, to be so connected to some body’s body and to be able to offer solace without actually doing something. I feel grateful for these moments.

Rumi says, ‘this moment, this love, comes to rest in me. Many beings in one being’.’ May Love come to rest in us, through all that we go through as human beings, Love that is uplifting, transforming, life-changing, a choice that we consciously choose during those inevitably difficult moments.

With metta, and a big thank you to all of you, S.

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