Shuba’s Weblog

Journeys of the soul…

Freedom to be…

on December 29, 2011

Writing in this space after about a week…feels good this morning. So much has happened in the last month – Anjali being sick, Abhi being away, worrying about job prospects, spilling milk on my computer so it stopped working (that was three weeks ago), losing my data and then being able to recover it…It has been such a month of sheer unpredictability that last week felt like a marvelous blessing. Abhi took the week off and was home and Anjali is recovering well. And I set the intention to give myself a vacation, a break from all the mental chatter that stems from worry and leads to nothing. I had wished we could have gone somewhere for the Christmas break, but it turns out that being home has been the best break I could ever have wished for. Ah, the beauty of normalcy!

Buddha is known to have said, ‘I teach one thing and one thing only: suffering and the end of suffering’. I used to always think to myself – but that is two things! Until I realized what he meant. When you know suffering, you also know the end of suffering and vice versa. By being with the pain that life throws at us inevitably, through circumstance or through our mind, we also learn to be with the other side – the joy, the space of the absence of suffering. We learn to be with the love and connection without turning away. We learn to soak in our own goodness and that of others without adding ‘Buts’ to it. We learn to simply flow. When things are hard, it is difficult. But then when things are good, it is great! We can be with both. We can enjoy the spaciousness of right conditions and the absence of sickness or mental turmoil. We can appreciate the peace it brings and the lack of worry, without getting attached to it.

There was a moment last week when I was on my new ipad and during a not-so-random browsing, I saw a job opening. My mind immediately jumped into action, urging me – Now! Do it Now! But because of my intention to be on vacation, I stopped. There is a song on Anjali’s CD from our music class, that goes ‘I stopped, I looked, I listened. Buzzzzzz….It was only the bee buzzing’. My mind was doing its buzzing. I didn’t react to it. Everything could wait a couple more days.

I’m proud of that moment. This small string of moments marks our practice. It is a constant practice but it paves way for living the way we choose to. We have a choice. That to me is freedom.

2 responses to “Freedom to be…

  1. Balai says:

    Subha: May the higher powers grant you all the freedom and fill your life with “true” joy. I am sure that these little setbacks are setting you up for greater gains in the future. So ride them just as you ride thro’ happy moments. WIshing you & your family a wonderful 2012! Best wishes!

  2. Shuba says:

    Thank you Balai for your kind thoughts. Wish you a lovely new year as well, filled with peace, joy and new adventures! Warmly, subha

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