Shuba’s Weblog

Journeys of the soul…

One of those days…

on September 5, 2012

Some days are long and hard. They usually come in the wake of the easy joyful ones. On such days, we write. Or we do something that reminds us that not all is lost. There is hope yet, redemption of the soul for all the stuff that we go through in life – for the boxes we are carrying that fall in the middle of the street, or the plates we drop that is the first signal of something going wrong. Something is off and we don’t know how to stop it. Sure there are plenty of warning signals – the kettle boiling over or the sink clogging up. But we are not as smart as we think we are – not when it comes to others. We can barely keep up with ourselves! Its only when the ship is blowing at full steam that we get it! We are far adrift.

It is one of those days. Yeah, it is one of those days.

Then we smile. Not because it is one of those days but because it happens to all of us. It may be something we are doing wrong – which is usually the thought in my head. But maybe it is just life happening: unpleasant and pleasant (neutral too, but I mostly sleep through that one). All of it. We beat ourselves up – could we have stopped this? Could we have said the right thing? Or the wrong thing? Or nothing? Could we have stopped this thing we are on?

No. That’s the right answer. Because we aren’t super human, only human.

Only human, and so extraordinarily human. Its one of those days just so we don’t forget that important piece of wisdom. That we are so vulnerable with a heart that breaks over and over again, and comes together to start over. What is this heart made of? I wonder. What mechanistic fibrous porous elastic osmotic material if that is what there is, is it made of? What cells, what blood, what else? Some moments when I’m convinced that my heart is no longer working, that I can no longer feel anything, something comes up. A stray thought, a loving moment, and suddenly the heart is in full swing.

All it seems to really want is an acknowledgment, a kind ear, a helping hand. Acknowledgment that it is one of those days. Somehow that works. If I could figure out how, I would win the nobel prize. But because I can’t, I’m going to stick with this: this writing on one of those days that reminds me that all is not lost. There is still this amazing delicious frosted lemon poppy seed scone in front of me. And the whiff of jasmine green tea. And outside in the quiet after the rain, the flowers bloom in plenty on the side of the train station. All is not lost. There is still hope.

With Love, S.

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4 responses to “One of those days…

  1. Joni Cole says:

    Wonderful, Shuba. Thanks for sharing your latest blog.

    We miss you in the circle!

    I’m doing an evening women’s writing circle, starting for four weeks next Monday, September 10, from 6:30 -8:30 p.m. If you know of anyone who might value this, I’d appreciate it if you’d please spread the word. We have room for two more!

    Warmest wishes, Joni

    On Wed, Sep 5, 2012 at 9:25 AM, Shubas Weblog

  2. Shuba says:

    Thank you Joni. I so MISS the workshops! They brought out so much creativity and joy! I wish I didn’t have to teach on monday evenings. I’m hoping to come to the prompt and pinot next friday. Blog readers, if you are local, visit http://www.thewriterscenterwrj.com for more info!

  3. Maha says:

    Yes, acknowledgment that it is one of those days or phases. Then, the acceptance that all one can do is one’s best. And finally, the grace to let it go with the belief that things will fall in piece. Often times, my struggle is with the third step, which probably is the test of true character, isn’t it?

  4. Shuba says:

    Well said Maha. Faith is perhaps an important piece to this. I often find for me knowing that something is just unpleasant and will not last(forever) helps me let go and allow wisdom to arise. We seem to have so many opportunities to learn how to respond!

    Warmly,
    Shuba

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