the journey of relationships…

The small things are what matter. how you wash the dishes, how you talk to your husband or child, how you respond to a friend’s distress. This is not rocket science (I have often wanted to use this phrase! ). It is about using our innate wisdom in the here and the now.

in this journey of self inquiry, of intimacy with the self, I’m starting to realize that our relationships hold so much for us to learn. It is in our closest relationships that we are most likely to react. to hold expectations, to take things personally. If we can be patient with ourselves and loved ones through the everyday life with its thousand sorrows and joys, we can really learn something.

so often I find myself wishing things were perfect in life, so that I can speed up and get on my ‘path’ of attaining peace. and then I catch myself. sometimes, my loved ones have the wisdom to point it out to me.

This path has no destination. this path is about being here now, in this relationship in this moment, no matter how easy or difficult. and being kind when we feel the difficulty of love. love in relationships carries with it the huge baggage of attachment. and by learning to be loving, without the attachment, we retrain ourselves. We practice dwelling in the four brahmaviharas (heavenly abodes) as Buddha called them. These are metta (loving kindness), muditha (sympathetic joy), karuna (compassion) and upekkha (equanimity).

Our relationships provide us with an immediate training ground to practice this everyday. to cultivate the heart’s goodness. something we should be profoundly grateful for, to have people in our lives who can be mirrors to our deepest depths. Can we be present so wisdom may arise ?

with metta, S.