Sometimes I have this distinct sense of experiencing ‘conditional happiness’. A sense of joy that I know is dependent on the conditions being a certain way. Last week, this was something along these lines: baby is doing good, Dad is doing good, I’m feeling well, day is beautiful, etc etc. We all have days like this, when things are going well. The boat is sailing smoothly. We are grateful, of course. But mostly, we start taking things for granted.
And then the boat starts rocking… 🙂
Suffering, the old trusted friend, comes along. Grasping, wanting, aversion, attachment. They all come at more or less the same time, don’t they? And I see my mind and heart struggle to recover balance. This struggle is always always hard.
And I’ve found that it is on these days that I can no longer take peace for granted. It is on these days that I really practice. I do what is necessary to feel peaceful again. I learn to be present – what other choice is there? And invariably, at the end of these days, my heart is softer and more connected. And I learn once again – letting go is possible. peace is possible.
It makes me realize that when conditions are great, the accompanying happiness is good. But it is when conditions are difficult, that truly presents the opportunity for unconditional peace.
May our hearts become as large as the bottomless ocean, on this journey,
With Love, S.
I’m writing on a new moon day – this new moon is in the sign of Aries – the astrological sign of courage, passion, action. It is warrior energy that makes things happen. and new moons always signify new beginnings. and whats more – its spring! the time of clearing out the old and bringing in the new.
One of the themes that can be associated with this time – of spring and beginnings – is that of death and rebirth. It is necessary for some things to die. things that we have been holding on to, that no longer serve any purpose, other than pure habit. and when we can let go of things we no longer need, we allow ourselves to make space for the new, for the things to be born that are more of need.
This is a wonderful time to ask ourselves – what needs to die in my life right now. and what would I like to be born in its place.
My own experience this past couple of weeks has been a revelation – of the rigidity I hold in my life. How much I like things to go my way. and how I respond when things don’t go my way. It was interesting to know how much I like to be in control. Wanting things to go a certain way is natural. It allows us to plan ahead. as long as it doesn’t get in the way of life happening. because the reality is that things will never go exactly the way we planned. can we go with the flow when that happens ?
So as I contemplated death and rebirth this morning, it came to me – I wanted to let go of some of the rigidity in my life. and in its place, I want balance to be born. balance, the place where we can listen and respond to life with wisdom.
Can we all give ourselves the permission to allow some things to die ? Letting go of things is not easy. It needs courage. and showing up. and forgiveness. and yet without death, how can the new be born ?
may whatever you need to be born into your life this spring blossom bountifully, as everything does this time of the year.
with love, S