Shuba’s Weblog

Journeys of the soul…

Uplifted…

This week has been a miracle in terms of weather. We have had sunny skies and soaring temperatures during a time when snow is usually still on the ground and one is weary of a long winter. The effect of this kind of unseasonably warm weather is that it gets your spirits lifted – and you want to enjoy every ounce of being outside – because you have this secret fear that this may not last. So you take out your bike, and your hiking gear, and you go for a run or you play outside with your kids.

The first two days are incredible. You appreciate every moment of the newness, of the unexpected. You appreciate every moment of shadow and sunshine and long days to be outside. You enjoy the taste of the pistachio gelato that you haven’t had since fall last year. You smile at every one for no apparent reason. You like life and everything in it.

Then you forget. You fall back into your old ways, the ways of the winter, when your body was still cloaked in many layers and you hid behind them. You lament that you don’t have any clothes to wear because your summer clothes are still tucked away in a suitcase. You complain that it is too hot and unsettling because you were not prepared. You exclaim that you didn’t get to enjoy spring weather and have gone from winter to summer. And you forget that everything around you becomes invisible when you are in your stories.

At that point, if you are lucky – something or someone reminds you. “Hey!! Wake up! Look around you! This is incredible. This is magic. Look at the tiny yellow flowers. The sky is blue. Come, be outside and run wild, won’t you? ” For me that someone is my daughter Anjali.

This is her first summer (or like-summer) of being mobile, of being able to walk and run outside in the warm sunshine and she is determined to make full use of it every day. Each day to her is this incredible gift – a day where one has to be outside. There simply isn’t any other choice. So, at 7.00am, sometimes earlier, she takes her stand next to the door, and looks at me with her big black eyes and implores: ‘Outu’!!!! The first day I told her, it is still cold baba. Lets go in a little while. She seemed to see sense in that, for 10 minutes anyway. Then again, it was back to the door: ‘Outu!!’ And that moment when I acquiesce (secretly delighted at how much my daughter loves being outside, taking after her mother), she does a little dance and breathes fast in anticipation and says ‘outu outu’, like the words are the secret to the world’s most incredible sight. Of course they are. Children know something we forget.

The other day when we were standing by the berry hush. Anjali picked up a berry from the ground. I stood there watching – anticipating that she would try to put it into her mouth and I would have to say No. Instead, she took and berry and tried to put it back on the tree. Of course. It is that intuitive.

That is where the berry belongs and this right here – in this summer outside is where we belong. What we have today is a gift. Of course we forget. We forget that change is an invitation to start afresh, be more of who we want to be. And then something or someone reminds us. And in that moment, we remember. We become awake. And life becomes a little lighter, a little more interesting. That is when we are uplifted.

So today, I sit outside on the porch. Today, there are no complaints, just unadulterated, unexpected and grateful enjoyment of this gorgeous sunny day.

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spring in the step…

I’m just back from a walk by my favorite Occum pond on a gorgeous spring day. spring has got to be a miracle. who would think that all the plants and trees that looked dead for all purposes, could come alive ! The pond on which we skated in the winter has melted. and red fish swim in colonies across the rippling waters. The green leaves and yellow flowers are gleaming in the sunshine, smiling invitingly. One almost starts believing – miracles do happen.

Some amazing pictures of spring flowers can be found at a fellow blogger’s site:
http://riversongs.wordpress.com/

Abhi and I saw a wonderful movie called ‘Earth’ this past weekend. shot on wildlife by Discovery and BBC productions, the movie is spectacular – a fitting ode to the marvels that inhabit the Earth. The scenes felt like you were right there – watching the birds, the majestic elephants, the dizzyling fast cheetahs, the proud Lions, the mammoth walruses. The humpback whales which swim over 4000 miles to their feeding grounds, the cranes who fly dizzying heights to cross the mountain peaks of Himalayas, the polar bears and the little ones. it was such a beautiful movie, beyond words. it reminds you of the miracles in Nature. There is such abundance here. such gifts.

I’m reminded of a poem I read recently by Mary Oliver called ‘straight talk from the fox’…
‘ …Don’t think I haven’t
peeked into windows. I see you in all your seasons
making love, arguing, talking about God
as if he were an idea instead of the grass,
instead of the stars, the rabbit caught
in one good teeth-whacking hit and brought
home to the den. What I am, and I know it, is
responsible, joyful, thankful. I would not
give my life for a thousand of yours.’

that says it all…
with love, S.

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spring

leaves bloom, buds blossom
the air of spring is here
I think of what I need to grow
what I need to let go

those old habits don’t serve anymore
I don’t want to be a slave anymore
this moment, this choice
I will relearn new habits

it will take time
it will take patience
but as surely as the buds blossom
the leaves grow,
I know I will too, grow.

I will hurt some days
turn away some days from myself
where did I learn this from ?
I’ll ask myself and cry

and I’ll pick myself up
and go on to grow some more
after the rain, the sky will glisten
the sun will peep out
and I will know I have lived. once more.

with love, S.

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