…okay, I don’t know the whole answer to that! but I am learning… 🙂
I just had my birthday this past weekend. I have turned 29. I don’t know what that means, but it feels good. good to be alive and healthy.
it has been a rocky ride. there have been times when I have felt out of control. suffering threatening to overwhelm me like dark clouds threatening a deluge. and one of the anchors holding me, protecting me, among many things, has been metta or loving kindness. In metta practice, we make wishes of well-being and happiness and peace. for ourselves, our loved ones and others. it really makes one think. what does happiness mean? and what does well-being mean to each one of us?
does it mean not having rough times? because that could never happen. we have no control over life, and rough times are as inevitable as joyful ones. life is a medley of it all. As Forrest Gump says, ‘life is like a box of chocolates. you never know what you are gonna get.’ much as I love hazelnut praline milk chocolate, I still have to eat dark mint crunch when it pops up.
the line between suffering and peace is thin. it has taken me quite a while to realize that. when I am suffering, my line is: ‘if I meditate enough, this will go away’. I am sure we all have our lines. but in fact, the key we need to unlock the door that creates space is already within us. the shining light of awareness. yes I am suffering right now. this is intense. and that’s okay. and then the realization that my friend puts beautifully into words: ‘and this too shall pass’. we all live life. as one of my teachers says, we all have ten thousand joys and ten thousand sorrows. it clouds our minds. it colors our feelings and perceptions. but it never changes who we fundamentally are.
and letting that space in makes us realize that the journey to happiness is in fact through acceptance. of being with what is, with compassion. of appreciation of all that the human heart can feel. of doing the things that nurture the well-spring of happiness within us. of taking time to be joyful. of gratitude. of flexibility when things happen, of gentleness. and of faith.
My favorite line that I use to come back is from Ajahn Chah: ‘if you are lost in a forest, that is not really being lost. you are truly lost if you forget who you are’.
wishing you a weekend of light and laughter, of flexibility and gentleness, and of knowing,
with love, S.
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